Halloween has lost that scary, spooky vibe. No longer do I get the chance to go to the Haunted House or partake in the haunted hayrides – there is just no time. Life consists of school, studying, and work with very little of the necessities in life such as sleep (and now I’m blogging). But, wait – I’m in college, so maybe Halloween is still kind of scary.  It’s a time for drinking, puking, fighting, bar lines, and – especially as a female – time to show the skin. By skin I hope you know that I mean the amount of clothes I’m NOT supposed to wear. I’m glad I missed out on the mummy thing last year.  Believe it or not, one of my fellow college coeds applied double sided tape to various parts of her body and then simply wrapped toilet paper around herself.  Nice costume, nice advertisement, and I’m glad I didn’t have to take the tape off those parts of my body.  I hope she shaved beforehand.  Oh, and by the way, she became the target for numerous “accidental” beer spills, making her a see-through mummy.  And, she didn’t get it (well, maybe she did).

So toilet paper and tape don’t work for you.  Then, head to the nearest costumer store, where you’ll find every costume for females little more than stripper outfits – the kind that guys are just waiting for something to fall out so they can get a freebee. Take a female hooker, I mean police officer for example.  Most of the real police officers I know – yes, I know a few but not for the reasons you’re thinking — don’t wear skirts.  Actually, “skirt” really isn’t the right word – it’s a piece of cloth that is meant to cover her forbidden zone (though much of it is no longer forbidden in that outfit).  Think about it.  How could any police officer wearing that outfit bend down to a car window with out flashing her goods to the general public?  It’s as if we take the uniform and cut it down to almost nothing but a few strips of colored cloth, badge, and the props – the things that make the ‘get up’ sexy.

The question I have for girls is the following:  Are you dressing up for the attention or the holiday?  I wonder how many of the girls who dress up as scantly-clad cops are actually criminal justice majors?  While I understand it’s hard to even find a costume today that isn’t provocative (unless you make it), we have to face the fact that we’re dressing up to get noticed. All the other girls are doing it! Why not? No one will think you’re slutty because everyone is doing it. Any alarm bells going off out there? Remember your Barbie costume?  You’re sending a message whether it’s only you or if everyone’s doing it.  Even if the message at the end of the night is “No, I’m not going home with you,” you’ve still sent an invitation.

Oh, by the way – for all you girls that have stopped eating so your bodies will fit in those tiny costumes, eating healthy and working out throughout the year would be so much better for you.  Not only are girls showing all but they’re actually killing themselves to put it on display. I mean if you’re doing that much to kill yourself, at least be smart enough to get paid for it.