US/Israel corporate media reporting lies that Hamas threatens to “kill all Jews”, and ongoingly that Iran threatens to “wipe Israel off the map.” How would such reporting cover the US Declaration of Independence to protect Empire interests?

(Satire): His Majesty, King George III, addressed Parliament today in response to the US Declaration of Independence. Excerpts:

King George: I will never apologize for England - I don’t care what the facts are. [1]

How is England supposed to fight back against a terrorist organization whose entire mission is the destruction of England? I mean, it’s in the Congress’ Declaration of Independence that they want to kill all English.

Look at what this says (holding a copy of the Declaration): The terrorist group, Congress, calls us English “destructive,” “evil,” and vows for America to destroy England. [2]

This terrorist organization, Congress, are religious fanatics. They believe in a “Supreme Judge” who supports a pledge to each other as suicide bombers! [3]

Americans were happy for over 100 years until these terrorists lied them into becoming tax-cheats! My God, the ingratitude of Congress to insult families of our troops who died protecting American freedoms, that they today refuse paying taxes to support freedom. [4]

Freedom is never free. But it seems that Congress hates us for our freedoms.

Just last year, Congress attacked our troops, killing 73 and wounding 174 engaged in lawful orders to retrieve weapons stolen by the terrorists. May we please recognize two of those officers in attendance? (Parliament burst in applause for the two now-standing officers) [5]

God bless our troops! (more applause)

This is why I call on Parliament today to authorize our military’s defense from the terrorism of Congress, who kill our soldiers, refuse tax, and openly threaten to destroy England! What say you?!?

Parliament (in unison): Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzahhhhhhhh!!!

(Standing ovation and cheering for two minutes. Members gradually settle for Q & A)

Q: Sir, what will you do with captured Congress terrorists?

George: Because we certainly are not the despots who mock justice that they claim, each will have his day in court to answer for treason.

Q: Aren’t Congress terrorists guilty of more than just treason, Sir?

George: (wry smile) More than treason? (laughter from Members) Yes; you’re right, of course. We’ll also document the crimes of spying, sedition, domestic terrorism, tax evasion, destruction of public property, theft of public goods, murder of our troops and its incitement, and… should I go on or is that sufficient? (more laughter)

Q: Sir, Congress vows to go on suicide missions in the Declaration of Independence?

George: Yes. (shakes his head in disbelief) The terrorists are not like you and me. The terrorists’ charter has them pledge their lives and all their money to abolish England. It’s their “sacred honor” to do this. [6]

Q: My God, Sir, will you support the Deputy Speaker’s call for ethnic cleansing of these depraved Americans? Or what about our troops raping member of Congress’ daughters, sisters, and mothers unless they surrender to justice? [7]

George: Congress and their cells are a small minority of otherwise good Americans. I do support our Foreign Minister’s call to create a “Noble Peace Prize” for our troop’s unimaginable restraint. (standing ovation from Parliament) [8]

Q: How can our troops and good Americans help bring the terrorist Congress to justice, Sir?

George: We’ve made a “most-wanted” playing card deck for public distribution. The aces are veteran-turned-domestic-terrorist and so-called “general” George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin. I say to all good Americans: Can we deal you in? (strong applause)

Q: What other encouraging message can you send to the troops, Sir?

George: It’s either fight the terrorists over there, or one day we’ll have to fight them here in England. Their religious fanaticism won’t stop until they try to wipe England off the map! [9]


  1. Then VP George Bush, Sr. on US military shooting down an Iranian civilian airplane over Iran’s airspace, killing all 290.
  2. See Declaration: “whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it”
  3. Declaration: “appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions,”
  4. No taxation without representation
  5. In satire form (and here): Battles of Lexington and Concord.
  6. Declaration: “we mutually pledge our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”
  7. Reference to Moshe Feiglin, Israel’s Deputy Speaker of the Knesset’s proposal for what appears as ethnic cleansing of Gaza, and Professor Mordechai Kedar’s call for rape to deter terrorism.
  8. References Israel Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman’s support for the Nobel Peace Prize for IDF forces for their restraint in Gaza.
  9. References current reporting lie that Iran threatens to “wipe Israel off the map.”